This is where subjectively funny things are. These are things that break me up, really. God knows we could all use a good laugh so here are the things that make me laugh. Once they STOP making me laugh I will take them down. If you don’t think it’s funny, or if you take offense or otherwise, please return to the front of the paragraph.
The Road to Recovery
10.10.2009 The best and most obvious way to avoid a hangover is not to drink at all, but I think we can all agree that this is not an option. Let’s move on.
amy ozol, hangover, new yorker, shouts & murmurs in new yorker I Have to Go Now by Jenny Allen
08.13.2009 I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to close the cupboard that hard! I hope I didn’t wake you!
coffee, jenny allen, newyorker, shouts and murmurs in new yorker A Mass Email by Amy Ozols
08.13.2009 I’d also appreciate it if you could send me your e-mail address. I already have your e-mail address, which I’m using to send the e-mail you’re currently reading, but I plan to delete it from my memory after I’ve finished typing,
Please Read Before Suing by Larry Doyle
08.12.2009 If the burning-hair smell continues for more than a day, and your hair is not actually burning (which happens in only a small number of cases), there is a very slight possibility that you are having a stroke.
larry doyle, new yorker, sshouts and murmurs, suing in new yorker SNL - Googly Eyes
06.26.2008 Now armed with a bag of googly eyes and glue I descended on my friend Leah’s house one week after showing her this video. I glued googly eyes to a basil plant. Leah arrived home after a day of neighbor problems and the googly eyes frightened her, thinking they were a message from the neighbor… something like… “I am watching you.” She called the police. I can only imagine the dispatch recording.
911 can I help you? Your call is recorded.
Yes, someone, maybe my neighbor, put googly eyes on my basil.
Maam?
He is watching me.
The police responded due to some other incidents, the googly eyes being the tipping point.
cristopher walken, googley eyes, googly eyes, gradener, saturday night live, snl in video Awake! This is .... You?
06.2.2008 I’m up. Are you up?
I’m trying to go back to sleep. But I’m awake. Awake awake awake.
jenny allen, new yorker, shouts and murmurs in new yorker Bob Ryan
05.24.2008 Mega Millions
09.20.2007 What am I going to do with my Mega Millions? Good question. Here’s a hundred dollars.
What he imagined they were saying...
09.20.2007 Twelve:
“Did that kid sitting behind us on the bus just get an erection?”
“I don’t know. For a while, I thought that was the case, but now that he’s holding a book on his lap it’s impossible to tell.”
“I guess we’ll never know what the situation was.”
Share Our Joy
09.20.2007 from The New Yorker of course
this is hilarious but read it when you have time to follow the links…